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"Hi," was all he said as he stood there at a loss for words.
"Hi," Meg replied as she opened the door a bit further. She didn't know what to do next.
When she had thought about him before, it was okay. He had not been standing there in front of her, so easily approachable and open.
"I just.. well I dropped by to say good-bye.. I guess," Fraser said, looking down at his hat for a moment. He was unsure of what to say now that he was actually here at her home.
"Oh well I'd like.. well then won't you come in?" Meg asked, moving aside.
Meg moved towards what used to be her living room and stopped, but he kept moving towards the window. When he stopped and looked out the window he muttered something that Meg could not make out.
Watching him, standing in front of the window, his form outlined by the light filtering through, Meg thought of all the lost time, all the missed opportunities. For years, he had worked by her side, day in and day out. But, until now, when she was leaving for good, she had never been able to find the courage to tell him how she felt.
Walking towards him, she smiled. He chose that moment to look up, gazing into the window. He saw her reflection there, and to him she was like an angel descended to earth. She glided, as if on air, towards him, and he could only smile back.
Everything that she had thought about before was out the door. In a sudden rush she knew that there was no leaving him. Looking back down, as another thought came to mind, she stood closely by him. That in reality she had to leave. This was what she was looking for. A way to excel in her career, and it was orders. Sadness crept into her features as it did Fraser's. It was almost like they were thinking the same thoughts. They both looked up at each other and began to speak.
"I.." they both began.
"Go on," Fraser said, motioning for Meg to go first.
"Ah.. okay." She began as she looked back up at him and saw the sadness mirrored in his eyes.
"This afternoon, when I was packing, I was thinking that I wanted to have a more personal good-bye, but.."
"I know.." Fraser said as he ran a finger gently down the side of her face.
"I don't want you to leave." He murmured to her as he leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, reaching for her hands. Encircling her fingers, with his, he closed his eyes and sighed. He did not want her to leave him at all.
After a few moments of just being there for each other he opened his eyes to look at Meg. But, he was no longer smiling, but serious and sad.
Meg knew that this was as tough for him as it was for her. She knew that she had to leave; orders from the higher up in command. But she did not want to leave him here.
"Why did you come here?" Meg asked him. She had to know, but had the feeling that she already knew the answer.
"Ah.. well.." He said quietly, unsure of what to say, as he looked back down at his hat.
Fraser looked at her with such love, respect, and concern, Meg was surprised at the conflicting feelings that emerged from the depths of herself. As well as the lonely man standing very close in front of her.
"You know I have to leave." Meg said, as she put her hands softly upon his to stop their movement.
Fraser looked down at her for the first time and gave her a sad smile. "I know." He paused and look directly at her.
Meg raised a hand and gently touched his cheek. Her emotions flowing freely now, her eyes were rimmed with tears, knowing this may be the last time she ever saw him.
"Have you ever felt that the moment someone stepped into your life, that something changed?" Fraser asked her so softly Meg wasn't sure if she heard him or not.
"Yes, yes I understand completely," Meg said as she took his hat away and threw it on the couch behind her.
Fraser just looked at her for a moment as if he didn't know what was going on with her. Then he looked back out the window as a sudden wave of sadness engulfed him once more.
Fraser pulled away from her, causing Meg to grow more concerned about him. 'How can I leave him, like this?' passed through her mind, as she watched him look back out the window, emotions playing across his face.
Meg turned for a moment with her back towards him and let a few of the unshed tears flow. Then she moved towards the kitchen for a moment.
Fraser looked up at her retreating reflection in the window. He knew she was upset, as was he. Fraser put his head in his hands and silently cried for something to happen, something to change in their lonely lives, for the better.
"Hello, Son," Fraser Sr. said to his son as he looked on from the beyond.
Fraser didn't respond to him, not knowing what to say, and not wanting to talk about this at the moment. But also wanting to have someone to lean on, to have there for support.
"You know, when I met your mother, Benton, it was the same way. I tried to stay away, just be friends, but it never worked. In the end love won over."
Fraser just looked at his father for a moment before he answered him, "This is different, Dad."
"In the greater picture, Son, no it isn't. Don't let your chance slip away."
Meg walked back in and saw him in the same spot he was when she left, except this time he stood a little taller, like he had earlier that day. It seemed as if nothing was wrong, all emotions were back in check.
Fraser turned around and looked at her. He couldn't do this, not to her, not now; not when she was leaving the next day. It wasn't right.
"I should be going. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow," Fraser replied as he moved towards the door.
Meg looked at him in surprise, but said nothing. "Yes, you are right, I will see you tomorrow then," Meg said as she stood by the door, holding it open for him.
Fraser paused at the door, wanting to do more, to stay here with her, but knowing it would be unfair. "Okay, then...have a good night," Fraser said as he stepped outside into the cold night and watched as Meg slowly closed the door and shut off the inside lights.
He looked back up once more at her home and sighed. He didn't sleep at all that night.
The Next Day
"As I prepare for my departure, it is not without some measure of sorrow. My time here in Chicago as liaison for the Canadian Consulate has been a high point in my career. And, working along side both of you a sheer treasure. I have made memories here that will forever be embedded in my life. We had shared many cases, both work related, and off the clock. And, working along side you both has showed me the true meaning of being a member of the RCMP. I am proud and happy to call you both friends, " Thatcher finished as she carefully watched Turnbull's and Fraser's features for any sign of sadness because she was leaving.
She saw that Turnbull was trying his best to keep together with his whimpering. But Fraser was as he always was; emotions fully in check and unreadable. She signed and dismissed them both.
Sitting back down in her chair, she rested her head in her hands. She was sure that Fraser wanted more last night when he stopped by. She had wanted to say more to him. She was hoping that he would plead with her to stay here in Chicago, anything. But nothing of that sort ever came about. A small tear rolled down her cheek and she gently wiped it away as she stood up and went to grab her coat.
Meanwhile in his office, Fraser was just sitting at his desk, for once not worried about the paperwork that had to be done. Part of his life, his heart, was leaving. He had finally gotten over everything that had happened in his past relationship to move forward in a new one with the one person who was his equal, and now it was being ripped away from him again.
Fraser had went over to her house last night to tell her exactly that. He couldn't let her leave him. But when he arrived and saw her open the door, time froze. For once, he had nothing to say. He was speechless, frozen in time.
He gripped his head in his hands and the motions from the night before played over in his mind. Thoughts of making it through this went slowly through his head. What scared him the most was not the loneliness that he had gotten somewhat used to, but it was the emptiness. Fraser sighed and put his head down on his desk.
Thatcher walked slowly by his office as she put on her coat. Looking in, she saw him, head down on his desk. She knew that this had to be as hard for him as it was for her. *Why was she being this stubborn? Why was he?* Those thoughts crossed her mind as she continued on her path out the door.
Fraser caught sight of her retreating form as she passed his door. He looked solemnly after her and his eyes welled up with tears all over again.
That night neither one of them got any sleep at all.
The next day, was the day that Thatcher was supposed to leave. To leave the city of Chicago. To leave him and her heart forever.
Fraser sat at his desk at this early hour, thinking about what he should do, about what he should have done. He wanted to go to the airport and stop her from leaving, but he knew she wouldn't do that. She was too loyal; orders and duty called.
After an inner debate with his true feelings, as if he had to debate anything anymore, he stood and reached for his hat. He had just under forty-five minutes to get to the airport. He was going to tell her his feelings once and for all. Even if she did still leave him here, she would know.
Fraser paid the cab driver and jumped out of the back seat. Running through the airport, a million thoughts ran through his mind. Things would finally be partially alright, She had to know. Maybe it wasn't fair to them both, but if he didn't open up to his emotions and tell her, then he would slowly go insane with guilt. It had to be done.
Running down the aisle way, towards the second to last ticket counter, he had this feeling that he missed his one opportunity for love, for true happiness. He suddenly stopped and took in his surroundings.
"She's gone, son," Fraser Sr. said as he stood next to him in the middle of the crowded airport.
"I know," Fraser whispered to no one else but himself. "I missed her, now there is nothing else."
"I told you to tell her, son. Now you won't have that chance again," Fraser, Sr said to him as Fraser began to walk towards the large window overlooking the runway.
Fraser but a hand up to the window as if he was reaching out to her, to trace the contours of her cheek, as he did last night, one more time. But all he received in return was the cold, icy touch of the glass.
Fraser watched the plane take off down the runway, whispering out the words he should have said the night before.
"It's okay, son. Everything will turn out alright in the end," Fraser Sr. said as he tried to reassure his son, knowing at the same time, it would never work.
Fraser turned around and spoke angrily to his father. "How would you know? I mean you ended up with the one person who completed you. You got that chance." Then he walked slowly out of the airport.
"Hey buddy, are ya okay?" Ray asked Fraser as he looked over at his best friend.
Fraser didn't answer him right away and Ray had to ask him again. He slowly turned to look down at his hat he held tightly in his hands, never once looking over at Ray when he answered.
"Yeah, yeah I am fine," Fraser responded quietly. Ray took his answer as a lie, the first one he had ever heard him say.
"We've known each other how long? We are partners, best friends even, and now you start ly'in to me?" Ray spoke frankly. This was the ending of the second day and Fraser was acting totally out of character. He was somber, and kept mostly to himself. This began to worry Ray.
Fraser made some sort of noise next to him, as if he were mocking himself, for the way he was acting. "I am sorry Ray, I just haven't been myself the last few days," he said to Ray for the first time, looking up at him.
"Fraser, you can talk ta me, we're friends. That is what friends are for, right? If somethin is botherin you.." Ray told him as he turned to look out the car window.
"Have you ever felt that everything around you is fading away? That nothing is as it seems anymore?" His question was blunt and to the point.
"Yeah," Ray responded to him. "Fraser, has this got somethin to do with Thatcher leavin?" He finally asked quietly. Ray knew there was something going on between them. After yesterday when he showed up at the Consulate to pick Fraser up, he seemed out of place, not himself, almost sad and depressed. Ray knew that the Inspector had received a promotion and transfer to Toronto. Although he had mixed feelings about the Inspector, he knew that Fraser took a liking to her. So, Ray always tried to get along with her.
"Yeah," Fraser said softly as he looked back down at his hat.
"My opinion Fraser, take some time off. Go back home, do what you have ta do. I'll be here when you get back."
"Maybe."
Over the next few days, Fraser got his belongings together and received his vacation time. He was packed for his return trip home. For the first time he was smiling.
As Fraser built a fire in his father's cabin, he just stared at it for a long time. It was as if the fire was engulfing him, taking his whole body and soul over completely, possessing him. From the cold glass of a couple of days ago, to this fire and warmth that was consuming him now, Fraser felt as if he was finally healing.
He looked over at Dief who sat silently on the bed. He was his only family now, besides Ray. For once he thought that this was okay That this is what was meant for him. This path was the one he was meant to take.
Two weeks later Fraser was packing up the cabin and closing it up for the next time he came home. He gazed around the room. 'Back to the city Dief. Are we ready?' Fraser asked his wolf, and was rewarded with a woof.
Fraser smiled at him and closed the door behind them. Closing the door on this life, and back to the hectic life back in the city. The only thing that made that better was that Ray was there. He missed him.
"Sir, I am sorry but due to the delay here last night we have been rerouting passengers to different flights," the flight attendant said to Fraser.
"Yes, I understand. So where will my stop be?" Fraser asked as he looked down at his ticket, knowing full well where it was going to be, yet silently hoping it wasn't the one city that she was in.
Cursing himself for even thinking about her, he waited for the attendant to give him his new flight planes. Fraser had vowed not to think of Thatcher, to get her out his mind. Otherwise, he would be no better off then he was before he went on vacation.
"I am sorry sir, but your layover will be in Toronto for eight hours. It is all we can do for you," the attendant told him calmly, as if she knew what was going on inside his mind.
Fraser slowly nodded his thank you and took his ticket. Heading for the gate, he contemplated staying here forever, not going back. But he turned and walked down to the gate, knowing full well that wouldn't help him at all.
As the plane touched down in Toronto, Fraser gazed out the window, unconsciously searching for Thatcher. It was like he was willing himself to see her; to once again feel her skin against his. He closed his eyes for a moment, struggling to not think about her. This was just an eight hour layover, he told himself repeatedly, nothing more. *There were thousands of people in the city. What were the odds that he would ever see her?* Three hours into the layover Fraser found himself standing in front of the hotel at the airport. He was looking at the menu posted in the window of the restaurant. He knew that he was hungry and needed to get something, but all he really wanted to do was get back to Chicago. Reluctantly he picked up his bag and entered. A hostess greeted him and soon he was seated along the windows overlooking the airport.
As the waitress brought Fraser his water, he looked out over the airport. All the people coming and going. Some people had family and loved ones meeting them upon arrival, and some were leaving their loved ones and family behind. All the emotions played clearly over each and every one of their faces. He could identify with all of those people who had someone close to them who was leaving. Even with his vacation, when he thought that he had gotten over all his feelings for Thatcher, it hadn't done him any good. He still felt the same way, sad, lonely, empty. He sighed and looked down into his glass of water.
Sharp movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, and Fraser looked up. He recognized a woman amongst the crowd of people disembarking from a flight. Quickly he stood and made his way out of the restaurant, searching for the familiar face. The woman had made her way to the luggage pick up. She stood there, looking very tired, drawn out, and lonely. Fraser noted dark circles under her eyes, and from the looks of it, she had lost some weight. Not much really, but enough to be noticed. With a deep breath, mustering up all the courage and self control he had, Fraser made his way slowly up to her for the first time in close to six weeks.
Standing behind her, Fraser inhaled her scent. Suddenly he realized just how desperately he had missed her. His eyes, suddenly rimmed with tears, he reached his shaking hand out to touch her slender shoulder.
Resting his hand gently on her, he was suddenly flooded with memories of their times together. That was when he noticed for the first time how badly he was shaking, and that he should say something to her.
Thatcher turned around and looked for the person who was trying to get her attention. She was tired, and not at all in a good mood. The last case she was sent on was a total waste of her time and energy; one that the Department could have handled. All Thatcher wanted to do at this point was go back home and crawl under the covers and sleep. Or at least try to. Ever since she had been promoted and transferred, she had not been sleeping much. She found it hard to concentrate, and found herself board easily with new assignments and the people here.
Thatcher turned around, her breath catching in her throat, suddenly unable to speak. "Fra.." Thatcher managed to say as she looked directly into his eyes, all her emotions surfacing. She began to cry.
"Hi," was all Fraser could say. He was feeling the same way; it was like all of a sudden all the other things in this world did not matter except for the one person who was standing in front of him.
"What are you doing here?" Thatcher asked him quietly as they stood there at luggage claim. It was as if they were the only two people in the whole airport.
"Layover," was all he said to her as he slowly moved closer to her. Fraser could not get enough, and he needed more.
She did the same, slowly their world was becoming smaller and smaller. Fraser slowly reached up and traced her cheek with the back of his hand, just as he had done all those weeks ago. She closed her eyes at the sensation, and sighed.
"I missed you," Fraser admitted as he once again rested his forehead against hers.
Thatcher looked up at him and smiled. "I missed you, too."
Fraser slowly weaved his fingers through her hair and moved to place a soft kiss on her lips. Pulling away, he watched her reaction and he was rewarded with a genuine smile.
A while later they found themselves back at the restaurant in a secluded table in the back. Both Fraser and Thatcher needed to talk about everything.
"How is everything back in Chicago?" Thatcher asked him, knowing this isn't what they needed to talk about, but she was scared, nervous. Fraser was going to leave in less than three hours, it wouldn't be fair to dump this all on him, and then leave again. But how could she conceal her feelings and raw emotions like this anymore, after these last weeks of total hell?
"Everything is well..." Fraser began to say but couldn't go through with it, so he just looked down at the plate that sat in front of him.
"Why are you here, Fraser? Is something wrong?" she asked him. She was concerned, she had never seen him like this before.
"I took some vacation time after you left. I had to.." Fraser trailed off as he looked back up at her.
Didn't she feel the same way? He was confused by the way she was acting now, as a friend and nothing more. Just a few moments ago, it was like they were long lost lovers, who just recently found each other again.
"Well, I hope everything is now straightened out," she replied, as coolly as she could. She was trying to sound as business-like as possible. It was the only way for her not to go over to him right now and plead for him to not leave her.
Fraser just looked over at her, then sharply away. He was hurt by her actions, and his eyes again began to rim with raw emotions.
After a moment of silence, he had to ask. "Do you have any idea of why, after how many years, all of a sudden I have to take a vacation? That it just happened after the one person in my life just leaves forever?"
She just looked at him in shock. She knew how she felt about everything that was going on, she loved him, although she would never admit it to him. She now knew he was mad about this, he was confused, and what's more he felt the same.
She reached across the table for his hand. She needed the contact, as did he. But Fraser pulled away from her sharply. Thatcher persisted and reached again. This time he let her intertwine her fingers with his and give them a gentle squeeze.
Fraser looked down at their hands, how well they fit. How good her skin felt against his. "I am sorry," Fraser whispered. "I thought everything was fine, that I had gotten over.. you." He finished and looked up at her.
"There is nothing to be sorry about, Fraser. You know that," she said to him.
They spoke awhile after that, about different things. It was like old friends who were getting caught up on old times. But this was different, this was old friends taking their relationship to a different level.
"Last call for flight 243 to Chicago," the flight attendant said over the loud speaker.
"That's my flight," Fraser said as he walked towards the gate. He handed the attendant his ticket and looked back over at Meg.
"Have a good flight, Fraser," she responded, clearly fighting whatever emotions she had from surfacing.
"I will. Bye, Meg," he said to her and he reached for her hand and gave her a soft kiss on the back of her hand.
"Bye, Fraser," she said to him, softly. "I will miss you."
Fraser had to strain to hear the last part, but he did. He squeezed her hand again and told her the same thing. "I will miss you, too."
"Sir, you have to board now," the attendant said to him.
"Yes, I am coming," Fraser said and then turned back to Meg. "Bye"
Then he was gone and Thatcher was left standing in the terminal alone. It was only then that she let the tears flow as she walked over to the window.
Looking out the window, she thought she actually saw Fraser looking right back at her from the plane. She raised her hand, reaching for him but only was allowed the cold touch of the glass. She cried harder and rested her forehead against the glass. She was alone once again.
Inside the plane, Fraser watched her from the window. He knew this was hard on them both. He loved her, but had not even told her. He felt guilty as he raised a hand to the window, giving her a wave as the plane took off.
Only then did Thatcher say the words. She should have said to him when he was there, right in front of her.
Right there, at that time, she made a decision. Picking up her bags, she took a taxi back to her office.
When Fraser returned to Chicago, Ray was waiting for him at the gate.
"Hey buddy! How was yur vacation?" he asked him as he patted him on the shoulder.
Fraser was silent, then looked over at Ray. His face told him everything.
"You saw her? I am so sorry, man," Ray said trying to console his friend.
"It's okay. Thank you for your concern, Ray."
Since it was Friday when he arrived home, he had the weekend to get himself back together and ready for work on Monday. He had gotten the memo saying the new inspector was starting then, and he wanted to make sure everything was all set at the Consulate.
That weekend Fraser went to the consulate on Sunday to make sure everything was alright. Walking through the door towards his office, he stopped as he saw Thatcher's old office. He just stood there. She was gone. Fraser tried to keep his emotions in check, he had to.
On Monday he arrived early enough to get things in order, coffee made and old paperwork settled before the new inspector arrived.
He was greeted by noises coming from his office. Fraser then realized that his door was opened. Knowing that he did not leave it like that last night when he left, suddenly he was on guard.
Slowly pushing open the door, he reached for the light switch. What he was greeted with took his breath away.
Both Fraser and Meg stood there and looked at each other. Not knowing what to say, they were frozen in time.
"Hi," Fraser said softly, "I.."
He didn't get a chance to say anything else, Meg walked up to him and kissed him passionately. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly, as if he was leaving again, and she was not going to let that happen.
Fraser gave in to her and let his emotions run wild. He ran his hands over her shoulders, and down over her arms, reluctantly pulling away and looking into her eyes. They were smiling.
"I couldn't be alone anymore, Fraser. I love you," Meg said to him as he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"I love you, too," Fraser replied as he bent in for another kiss.