[Fraser's apartment]

Fraser: What would you most like to see on your first evening. How about La BoHeMe. You have to give opera more than one chance. That was the Yukon Light Opera and I thought they did their very best under extraordinarily difficult circumstances. In fact it's a miracle that poor woman could sing at all after being dragged out of that snowdrift. Oh here's an idea, a modern dress production of Gilbert and Sullivan's Ivanhoe.

Dief: Woof.

Fraser: No, you're right and she is sixteen. I mean, perhaps I'm being a bit conservative. Mind you she's the daughter of a very important Canadian trade diplomat. I can hardly invite her to a sock hop. I have the museums and galleries scheduled for tomorrow, I just have to find something she'd enjoy doing tonight. Oh look, the Bee Gees are reuniting.

Dief: Whine.

Fraser: You know I don't even know why I bother talking to you when you're in these kinds of moods. May I be frank? I only started talking to you on the ice flow out of sheer boredom. Now you've got an opinion on virtually everything. Well, from now on you can keep your opinions to yourself. Oh - how do I look? Well thank you.

[alley. Frank Collebis is having a smoke and killed. A matchbook is taken from his hand]

[Eddie Beet's Apartment]

Eddie: Hi honey I'm home. I had a very hard day at the office. Guess what? I got the promotion. And I'm in the mood to celebrate. Come out come out where ever you are.

Janice: Think you can treat me like that Eddie? Hmm? You make me wait here all day and you think you can talk to me like that? Well think again jerk.

[alley]

Welsh: Who called it in?

Huey: One of the broken nose guys in the bar found him when he came out for his car.

Walsh: We have cause of death?

Pearce: Judging from the hole in his back I'd rule out asphyxiation.

Ray: Alright, they all tell the same story. They were playing cards, Frank was up. He stepped out. He never came back. They figured he went home a winner.

Welsh: Who do we like for this.

Ray: It's gotta be Eddie Beets.

Louis: No, Eddie's a soldier. This took too much initiative.

Ray: Word is Eddies been getting a little itchy talking Frankie down. Money says somebody was putting big thoughts in Eddies head.

Louis: Eddie didn't have the brains for big thoughts.

Ray: You got the list, you don't need brains.

Louis: That list is a fairy tale.

Ray: Franky's a very hands on kind of guy. He's kept a very meticulous record of every distributor and dealer he ever knew. He owns Franky's list, he owns the entire west side.

Louis: We checked the body there is no list.

Welsh: Alright everybody's on this.

Ray: Aw come on. I don't want to work with Screwy and Louis.

Welsh: Half the city is up for grabs right now. Nobody sleeps.

Ray: You find me the doer and you find me the list. Vecchio. Fraser, I'm kinda busy right now.

Welsh: Or you otherwise occupied Detective?

Ray: Uh, no sir.

Welsh: Good.

Welsh: Ready to go?

Pearce: You sure? You think we can still make it?

Welsh: Absolutely.

Pearce: You sure? I thought the curtain was at seven.

Welsh: We'll take my car. I have a flashing light on top. I'll sing the opening aura on the way.

[Consulate function]

Ray: This better be an emergency.

Fraser: Oh, thank goodness.

Ray: It's okay. I got it. I don't know what's in there, I didn't look. I know how you are about your stuff but this better be important.

Fraser: I can't thank you enough Ray.

Ray: So, what's the emergency.

Fraser: Well, I've been assigned to escort the daughter of Canada's senior trade negotiator.

Ray: The one in the green dress dancing with the doofus?

Fraser: He's the American Ambassador's son.

Ray: Looks like a very painful experience.

Fraser: Well dancing with the Americans often is Ray. Speaking politically of course, not personally.

Ray: Yeah, right. So what was the emergency?

Fraser: You'll never believe this but I didn't realize this was a formal event.

Ray: You got me off the biggest case of my career to bring you a pair of gloves?

Fraser: And I can't thank you enough Ray.

Ray: I'm suppose to be on a stake out right now. I gotta tip where I can find Eddie Beets. The guy suspected of offing his boss and trying to take over the entire west side and I'm delivering formal accessories?

Fraser: Well if it wasn't urgently important I wouldn't have called you. You'll never know how much this means to me Ray.

Ray: You're right. I won't. Uh oh. I know that look. This guys going to want to see my ticket. I'm out of here.

Fraser: Thanks Ray. Oh uh Ray, could you um...

Ray: I've got to find new friends.

Ambassador: Your boss at the Consulate said I couldn't miss you. He was right.

Fraser: Constable Fraser sir, pleased to meet you.

Ambassador: Pleased to meet you. Well it shouldn't be too tough an assignment eh Constable?

Fraser: I'll take good care of your daughter sir.

Ambassador: I wish I had more time to take her around myself. Her mother used to take care of her on these trips. It's been two years and I haven't gotten the hang of it. I guess I'm not much of a substitute. Can I get you anything?

Fraser: Thank you no sir. I'm on duty.

Ambassador: So are you up for it?

Fraser: Well I've drawn up a short itinerary but it would be helpful if I have a a better idea of her particular interests.

Ambassador: Oh you know, a little sight seeing, shopping. I gave her some money if she needs more make me a call. Just make sure she has a good time and shows up at the ball tomorrow night. Isn't she beautiful. Well, duty calls.. I have to get these Americans to sell less and buy more.

Fraser: I understand sir.

Ambassador: You uh take very good care of her.

Fraser: I will.

Christina: So, you must be Chicago.

Fraser: Ah. Constable Fraser, ma'am. And I will be your escort until tomorrow night. Now I've given some thought to the itinerary, but not knowing your tastes -

Christina: Well, I'm sure whatever you picked will be just fine. I'll be right back.

Fraser: Well I'll just uh. I'll wait right here.

Ambassador's Son: She go in there?

Fraser: Yes.

Ambassador's Son: So.

Fraser: So.

Ambassador's Son: So, you like her boyfriend?

Fraser: Me? No.

Ambassador's Son: She said she didn't want to dance any more cause her boyfriend might get bent out of shape.

Fraser: Ah.

Ambassador's Son: You seen him around here?

Fraser: Her boyfriend? No.

Ambassador's Son: You think she was lying to me?

Fraser: The truth?

Ambassador's Son: Yeah.

Fraser: Yes.

Ambassador's Son: Women can be so cruel.

Fraser: You know, when I was your age, I couldn't dance very well either.

Ambassador's Son: Really?

Fraser: Really.

You like what, the valet?

Fraser: Something like that.

Ambassador's Son: That's cool.

Fraser: Well thank you.

Fraser: Good evening Miss.

Christina: It's gonna be.

Ambassador's Son: That was a babe.

Fraser: Well yes. Now that you mention it she does look quite...she...excuse me.

Fraser: Excuse me. I I'm sorry. I'm just. I'm looking for a ...oh dear. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Ambassadors Son: She'll never believe it man. The valets a perve.

[Taxi]

Gerome: Well, well, well don't we look pretty tonight.

Christina: Thank you Gerome. Drive.

Gerome: Where you want to go?

Christina: What is the wildest club in town?

Gerome: The wildest club? No, no. No, no you don't want to go there.

Christina: Yes I do.

Gerome: You'll love the place.

[from his taxi] Fraser: Miss Nichols!

Christina: See you Chicago.

Fraser: Uh - I need a cab.

Doorman: Do you work here?

Gerome: So how come a pretty little thing like yourself is all by her lonesome tonight.

Christina: Looking for some fun, Gerome. Looking for some fun.

Fraser: In a hurry to see the sights are you? Well I can understand that.

Gerome: You know this guy?

Christina: Go away. Just leave me alone.

Fraser: I can't do that you see because I have the itinerary.

Gerome: What is he some kind of nut?

Christina: Yes. Go faster.

Gerome: Hey I'm already -

Christina: Lose him!

Fraser: I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to break the speed limit.

Taxi Driver: How much?

Fraser: By as little as possible.

Taxi Driver: How much money.

Fraser: Uh - here.

Taxi Driver: It's red.

Fraser: It's Canadian.

Taxi Driver: It's got your picture on it.

Fraser: No, that's the RCMP musical ride.

Taxi Driver: It's not a good likeness at all.

Fraser: Well uh - here.

Taxi Driver: This guy I know.

Fraser: I'm afraid there's been some kind of misunderstanding.

Christina: Why are you doing this to me.

Fraser: Because I am your escort. Your father has entrusted you into my care.

Christina: My father doesn't give a damn about me.

Fraser: Well now that that's not true. As a matter of fact he gave me twenty dollars so I can take you someplace nice. Show it to her please. You see?

Christina: I don't need his money and I don't need a babysitter.

Gerome: Hey, I need his money.

Christina: Here.

Gerome: Alright. We gone now. Hold on.

Taxi Driver: I need more too.

Fraser: Well all I have left is Canadian.

Taxi Driver: Fine, then I drive thirty per cent slower.

Fraser: Alright. Just keep it steady. Hold this would you?

Taxi Driver: Hey what? What the hell are you doing? [he is climbing out of the window onto the roof and then to the roof of Christina's taxi]

Fraser: Thank you!

Fraser: Would you consider discussing this over coffee?

Gerome: This man is seriously crazy.

Christina: Go away.

Fraser: You're being a bit childish -

Christina: Childish? I just turned sixteen years old. Do you know what my father gave me for my birthday? A porcelain doll.

Fraser: How nice.

Christina: Do I look like I play with dolls?

Gerome: Huh uh, you look very fine.

Christina: Thank you.

Fraser: You know you really should take this up with your father cause I'm sure he'd understand you have some very valid concerns.

Christina: You want to hear my concern Chicago?

Fraser: Well I'm not sure this is the most appropriate venue.

Gerome: Well I want to hear it.

Christina: Ok. Here's one. When do I get my own life. When do I get to do what I want to do. When do I get to stop being the perfect little princess and go -- skinny dipping.

Gerome: Public pool, coming up.

Fraser: You! Keep driving.

Christina: I want to go out all night and come home when the sun comes up and I want to fall in love with someone I just met and I want to kiss someone who's not related to me.

Gerome: I could pull over right here.

Fraser: Keep driving.

Christina: I want to do all these things I've never done before and I want to do them tonight.

Fraser: Well, you know there is the most fantastic exhibit at the uh -- Museum of Science.

Christina: U-turn.

Fraser: The Textile Museum?

Christina: Alright. I'll make you a deal. We go one place I choose. Then I'll go back to the hotel.

Fraser: Well now I'm afraid I can't agree to that.

Christina: Alright where's the pool.

Fraser: One place and that's it?

Christina: We got a deal or you want to see my backstroke?

Fraser: Alright, we got a deal.

Gerome: Here we are.

Fraser: Ohhhh dear. [Gerome stops, Fraser rolls off taking the taxi sign with him, but his has is in the road...]

Fraser: Let me get that. [opens her door. She heads for the line of people]

Gerome: You're one really freaky you know that? You fit right into that place.

Fraser: Ah! A costume party is it? Sounds like good clean fun. [uh huh. It's an S&M Club]

[From their cars, they are staking out the club]

Louis: Unit five in position.

Voice 1: Unit four in position.

Voice 2: Unit two in position.

Ray: Nobody moves till I give the word.

Huey: There's no sign of Beets.

Ray: How can you see anything. I can't even see the hand in front of my face.

Huey: I hope we're not wasting our time.

Louis: My source says he'll be here, he'll be here.

Ray: Yeah, the only problem is I'll be dead by then from second hand smoke. God forbid you should consider someone else's lungs. [Louis lights up a cigarrette]

How do you put up with this guy? [Huey lights up a cigar] Oh great.

[inside the club]

Fraser: Good evening.

Dentist: I've been bad. I've been very bad. Please punish me.

Fraser: There's nothing so bad that it can't be forgiven, son.

[to the bartender]

Christina: Long Island Ice Tea and keep em coming.

Bartender: How old are you?

Christina: How old do I look?

Bartender: Just the right age.

Fraser: Excuse me

[Finds her at the bar] Fraser: Here you are. [to the elderly woman in a sailor hat who winks at him] Hello ma'am. Thank you. [to the bartender] I'm afraid there's been a mistake. There's liquor in this. Quite a large quantity too.

Christina: Sure. Cheers.

Fraser: No, no I don't think so.

Christina: You're such a drag. [she gets up, he goes to follow, 'twin' girls block his path]

Fraser: Would you uh ...

Twins: Anytime.

[Christina goes into the ladies room, Fraser is looking around the club for her]

Fraser: Have you seen a ... oh. Oh. [just realizes this isn't a costume party when he finds a half clad 'Mountie']

Eddie: Look what you did to my eye. Not smart. You are one stupid girl. Tell me something. What you plan on doing with it huh?

Janice: What do you want Eddie, huh?

Eddie: You don't know what you do to me. Nobody ever takes from me.

Janice: I'm a giver Eddie. [pops him on the head then goes into the ladies room looking for an exit and slips the matchbook into Christina's purse]

Janice: Eddie.

Eddie: Yeah.

Janice: Eddie! Stay away from me you son of a bitch.

Eddie: You're dead Janice. You know how long you have to live? Start counting honey.

Christina: Chicago!

Eddie: Come on Janice.

[into his sleeve] Mountie/cop: Something's going down.

Ray: Let's go!

Louis: We're moving in.

[with knife in hand and Janice in the other] Eddie: You used to have such a pretty face. [Fraser takes the knife]

Fraser: Would anyone here happen to have a pair of handcuffs? [everyone offers] Thank you. [to Christina] Now lets get you out of here.

Ray: This is a raid. Nobody move. This is a raid.

Fraser: Sorry. Excuse me.

Mountie/cop: Freeze, Red, you're under arrest.

Ray: Who you got?

Fraser: Hello Ray.

Ray: Fraser!

[Eddie escapes]

Fraser: Ray! Ray! There's a very simple explanation for all of this.

Ray: Don't talk to me alright? I don't even know you.

Dentist: These aren't tight enough.

Ray: Get him out of her alright? Get out of my face.

Dentist: Ow!

[letting everyone get in the paddy wagon ahead of him] Fraser: After you ma'am. Oh please, after you.

[alley behind the club]

Eddie: I'm beginning to reassess our relationship.

Janice: Please. Please. Don't. Don't Eddie. Eddie.

Eddie: Where are the matches honey.

Janice: I dropped them, I dropped them.

Eddie: You lied to me.

Janice: No.

Eddie: You never used to lie to me.

Janice: I swear I dropped em. She has em. The girl.

Eddie: Show me.

Janice: That one. Her.

Eddie: The little one.

Fraser: After you ma'am. After you sir. After you.

Ray: Will you get in the truck. Just get in there ok?

Fraser: I'm sorry, Ray. After you. Hello everyone. How are you?

[27th precinct]

Louis: Name?

Dominatrix: Madame DeFarge

Louis: D-A-F-A-

Huey: Louis! [shakes head no]

Louis: Name.

Dominatrix: Marat Sade.

Dentist: You sure we haven't met somewhere before?

Huey: I'm sure.

Dentist: Because you look very familiar.

Huey: You look at this picture and tell me if you saw this man at the club.

Welsh: Gentlemen. Would you join me? [in his office] You have no idea if Eddie Beets was even at the club.

Louis: We were working on a tip from a very reliable source, sir.

Huey: We're squeezing the patrons sir, but most of them won't even give us their real name.

Louis: Sir this club is a very well known hang out for the people who run in these circles. If there is a list which I sincerely doubt and a person wanted to sell it or parlay it, this is the place to go.

Welsh: So you are telling me these are all underworld figures we have out here?

Louis: Well they're mostly hanger on's and wanna be's sir.

Huey: This was a very reliable source sir.

Louis: Very reliable.

Welsh: Look Detective, let's say the list exists. If Eddie Beets has it, he controls everything coming to the westside. Now Detective Gardino if you've just seized control of the entire westside would your first act be to go dancing in leather underwear?

Ray: Perhaps Detective Gardino's the wrong person to ask sir.

Welsh: Did you search Beet's apartment?

Huey: Yes sir.

Louis: Yeah - head to toe. There's no list.

Welsh: Good. Do it again.

Louis: What? Are you serious?

Welsh: And get these perverts out of my squad room.

Ray: Uh, a moment of your time sir. Of a personal nature.

Welsh: If this has to do with people smoking in the men's room, I don't want to hear it.

Ray: It's a little more delicate than that sir. You see I have this friend who through unfortunate set of circumstances happened to be in the club at the time of the raid.

Welsh: And you want to bounce him. May I ask who this friend is? (Fraser waves) Really.

Ray: Ah, yes sir.

Welsh: Who's the girl with him.

Ray: The daughter of a Canadian Diplomat.

Welsh: No kidding.

[knock, knock, knock]

Ambassador: I'm looking for Lt. Welsh.

Ambassador: You have no idea. You have no idea what could have happened to you.

Christina: I'm okay dad.

Ambassador: You're okay? Then whi did I leave the American Commercial Attache sitting in a restaurant to come down to a police department to get you out. I'm surprised the damn press isn't here yet.

Fraser: Excuse me, Mr. Nichols.

Ambassador: If I have anything to say to you, Constable, you'll hear it from your supervising officer after he hears about it from his commanding officer. And trust me, you will hear.

Fraser: This is a copy of my report sir, stating that my gross negligent endangered the security of your daughter.

Ambassador: You're damned right it did.

Fraser: Miss Nichols just wanted to see some of the cities night life. If I'd done my homework I would have know that club was completely inappropriate and I never would have taken her there.

Ambassador: So this was your idea.

Fraser: I'm truly sorry for the anxiety this must have caused you sir.

Ambassador: Caused me? What about her. My daughter is fifteen years old my god man, did you see the people in there?

Christina: I'm sixteen. I turned sixteen two months ago daddy.

Ambassador: I know sweetie, I know. It's just that my mind has been filled with so much junk from these trade talks. I come here. I find you. What would your mother say if she saw you in these clothes.

Christina: Can you take me back to the hotel please.

Ambassador: I'll take you. I just need to make a phone call. I don't know the number the poor man is sitting in the restaurant.

Christina: I can take a cab.

Ambassador: We'll just be there for a few minutes.

Christina: I'm not a child. I have taken a cab before.

Fraser: I'll make sure she gets home, sir.

Ambassador: I can trust you to do that?

Fraser: You have my word.

Ambassador: Okay, I'll see you at the ball, alright? We'll talk Damn. I I um, need my jacket. Love you.

Ambassador: Make sure.

Fraser: I will sir.

Christina: Thanks a lot.

Fraser: I'm sorry.

Christina: Why didn't you tell him it was my idea.

Fraser: Well, I - I was just trying to -

Christina: Protect me? I am so sick of everyone trying to protect me from living my life.

Fraser: Excuse me, ma'am.

[hotel]

Christina: You're walking me right to my door?

Fraser: Well I promised your father I'd see you home safely.

Christina: I bet you always do what ever you're told don't you.

Fraser: Actually, no.

Christina: Really? I do. I always do what I've been told to do.

Fraser: You don't seem very happy about that.

Christina: Like I have a choice.

Fraser: You know Christina, you may not believe this but weather you're sixteen or sixty, no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. Ultimately no matter what the situation the choice is always in your hands. You just think it isn't.

Christina: Okay, maybe you're right. It's time I made a decision. Here it is. You know that ball my father really wants me to go to tomorrow night?

Fraser: Uh huh.

Christina: I'm not going.

Fraser: Well there. A decision. Well. As for tonight?

Christina: Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.

Fraser: You'll be alright by yourself?

Christina: I've been left in hotel rooms all over the world, Chicago. It's the one thing I know how to do. Goodnight.

[hotel room]

Mrs. McGuffy: I'll be finished in a wink darling.

Christina: Oh no trouble. [cleans out purse, including matchbook]

Mrs. McGuffy: Goodnight then.

[on her way out the door ] Christina: Goodnight. [Mrs. McGuffy cleans up and throws matchbook away]

[Fraser gets into elevator with small boy who has pushed all the buttons]

Fraser: Ah. Thank you.

[Mrs. McGuffy throws trash and matches down trash shoot to basement where janitor picks them up]

HouseKeeper: Goodnight Mrs. McGuffy.

Mrs. McGuffy: Goodnight Deary.

[Christina, followed by Eddie, gets on a tour bus, the janitor tosses matchbook out his car window and a little girl picks them up]

[spotting Christina] Fraser: Christina?